


Weird

by DeckofDragons



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: April Fool's Fic, Dad Spy, Gen, Glitter, M/M, Scout has daddy issues, SpyDad, father/son bonding, prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18312233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: Scout gets Sniper to help him pull a prank on Spy for April Fool's Day.





	Weird

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April Fool's Day!

“You got to help me prank Spy for April Fool’s.”

Sniper looked up at Scout from where he sat on the edge of his bed. He was still half asleep because Scout had just come in to wake him up, they hadn’t even left campervan for breakfast yet. “What?”

“I need to prank Spy for April Fool’s and you’re going to help me.” Scout normally pranked everyone for April Fool’s in small ways. This year though he was focusing all of his attention on Spy for… _reasons_.

“Why would I help you prank your dad?”

“Because you love me and I asked you to.” He couldn’t say ‘no’ to that now, could he?

Sniper sighed. “All right fine, you got me. Why do you need my help though?”

“You’re taller than me and two people working on the idea I have will make it a lot easier.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you when we get there.” When it was almost too late to change his mind. “I’ll get everything we need for it so just be ready to help me on the big day ‘kay?”

“’Kay.”

 

“What you need all that stuff for boy?” Engie asked, raising and eyebrow at Scout as he approached the car.

“Reasons,” Scout said with a nonchalant shrug before stepping forward to put it all in the car. As expected, the trip to town had provided him with everything he needed for his big prank. Engie questioning him on it was also just as expected, there was too much stuff to hide so he hadn’t even bothered trying. “Don’t worry about it.”

Engie sighed as they climbed back into the car, him driving, Scout taking shotgun. “You’re going to pull a prank on someone, aren’t you?”

“Yep, not on you though so don’t worry about it.”

“Well all right, as long as it don’t affect me and don’t hurt no one, I suppose I don’t care. Who you pulling it on?”

“Spy, don’t tell him please.”

Engie shrugged. “All right. What you planning though?”

“Uh… I can’t tell you in case you decide to tell him after all.” Scout didn’t want to risk that.

 

“Yo Pyro, can you do me a favor?” Scout said as soon as Pyro answered the door for him.

He mumbled something rendered incoherent by his gasmask in response. But well, Scout could take that as assent, right?

“Tomorrow I need to you keep Spy out of his room for as _long_ as possible, for at _least_ like three or four hours, more if possible. Can you do that?”

Pyro tilted his head in confusion. “Why?”

“I can’t tell you why but you’ll find out tomorrow for sure. It’s important so you got to do it please. And don’t tell him I told you to do it either because then he might figure out the surprise before it’s ready.”

“Ooh, a surprise.” Pyro lightly clapped his hands. “Okay, I’ll keep him away.”

“I knew I could count on you buddy, thanks.”

 

“That’s a lot work mate, I’m not sure he’ll be gone for that long,” was Sniper’s reply upon Scout finally revealing his prank idea.

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” Scout replied, hoping he was right. “I asked Pyro to keep him busy for a while so we got some time. Probably not a whole, whole lot so let’s get to work, huh?” They were already here in Spy’s room, Sniper couldn’t back out now, right?

“All right fine,” Sniper gave in with a sigh as Scout knew he would.

“Awesome, thanks, love you.” Scout gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before hopping away to start.

“Uh… why you want to do this anyway?” Sniper asked after a couple minutes had gone by. “He’s going to be pissed at you, you know that, right?”

“Of course, I know that, that’s like the point.” What fun was a prank that didn’t at least mildly annoy the person getting pranked? “You remember that gift I got him for Christmas? We had like… a really touching moment because of it so I got to make up for how sappy and sweet that was by hardcore pranking him for April Fool’s to annoy him a little… or a lot.”

“Uh… all right, I guess. Just… don’t tell him I helped.”

 

“Hey mate, come look at this,” Sniper called from the attached room that housed Spy’s bed. Scout has sent him in there to see if anything could be done in there.

Curious, Scout put down what he was doing and quickly made his way over. “What is it?”

Sniper was standing by Spy’s bedside, the nightstand’s drawer open in front of him. “This is your mom, right?” He turned around to show Scout a photograph.

“Uh…” Scout took a step closer to get a better look. “Yeah.” It was without a doubt his mom, younger looking but undoubtedly her.

“Then that must mean, these baby pics are yours.” Before Scout could ask him what he meant, Sniper held up four more photographs, fanned out like cards in his hand. Scout’s mom holding a baby, just the baby, and then two more of a young toddler. Scout might not remember having those pictures taken but he’d seen enough pictures of himself as a young kid – his mom took _plenty_ – to know that was indeed him. And if there was _any_ doubt left, the one of his mom holding the baby was a copy of one that his mom had framed in her room that had his name written on the back.

“You were a cute kid,” Sniper said before Scout could say anything. There were a few more pictures in his hand that he was shuffling through.

Scout’s face flushed with heat. “I… I was _not_.” Sniper seeing his baby pictures shouldn’t be embarrassing, should it? It’s not like it was pictures of him in his awkward teen years or anything like that but _still_. And being called a ‘cute kid’ was the final nail in the coffin, that’s the kind of thing his _mom_ said about him. “And… and we probably shouldn’t be looking at those.”

Sniper paused before his expression transformed into a grimace as he lowered the pictures. “Uh… you’re right. It just… kind of happened, sorry.”

They were in Spy’s room, those were Spy’s pictures. He kept pictures of Scout as a baby in his bedside drawer. He’d kept them with him for _years_ and… had clearly taken good care of them… ugh. They shouldn’t have been looking at them, it was a breach of privacy that even Scout wasn’t comfortable with.

“First of all, let’s both agree to never ever tell him we saw those, okay?” he said, pointing at the photos.

“Agreed.” Sniper stacked them back up and put them back in the drawer. He then pushed it closed.

“Second, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Thing’s have been _way_ too sappy around here lately. We need to tone it down some before we end up looking like one of those cheesy family movies where everyone’s so happy all the time it’s actually kind of creepy.”

“I don’t think you got to worry about that any time soon since a big part of both your job and your dad’s job is to kill people.”

True but still, it was a bit much, wasn’t it? All this time, since even before Scout had begun to suspect anything or had even met Spy, Spy had been carrying around those pictures. It was more unquestionable evidence that Spy cared for Scout, had _always_ cared for Scout. All the while Scout had been assuming that Spy/his dad _didn’t_ care about him until a relatively short time ago. Getting used to that idea, even if it was what he’d always wanted, in such a short amount of time was kind of a big thing, it felt weird sometimes.

“Let’s just leave this room alone and finish up out there. It’s been a while, I don’t know how much longer Pyro can keep him distracted for.” Scout gestured for Sniper to follow him back out to Spy’s main room, his ‘tea room’ as he put it.

***

Something was up. Pyro could be pretty chatty and insistent on someone hanging out with him sometimes but he was _clearly_ working to keep Spy attention this time. Though, Spy probably would’ve dismissed it as unimportant if it wasn’t April Fool’s. Someone – probably Scout because he was the one most likely to pull pranks – was up to something and had instructed Pyro to keep Spy busy for a while.

So as soon as he reasonably could, he disengaged saying, “Pyro, I have something I need to attend to, we shall continue this later.” He cloaked before Pyro could reply and rapidly left the room.

The most likely place for Scout to do something was Spy’s room so he went there first. Everything looked normal on the way there, no buckets filled with water above doorways, no saranwrap stretched across door frames. Meaning the prank _was_ in his room. … Or his instincts were wrong, that was unlikely though.

He grabbed the handle to his room, turned it, and pushed the door open. Nothing fell but his suspicions were confirmed. He sighed as he stepped into his room to get a better look.

Every object in his room was now wrapped up in brightly coloured wrapping paper. His table, chairs, the wood he kept for his little fireplace. All the light objects such as his paintings at first glance seemed missing a but a look up revealed that they’d been wrapped up too and tapped to the ceiling.

The only object not up there and not giftwrapped was the mug Scout had gotten him for Christmas. It was placed on the table, on top of a piece of paper with writing on it. Stepping forward and moving the mug to pick up the note revealed _exactly_ what Spy knew would be on it.

‘ _HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY DAD!_ ’ written in big messy block letters. And if that wasn’t enough, it was also signed with Scout’s scribbled signature that he’d started putting on his drawings.

Now, Spy had two options. Give Scout what he wanted and react to it, getting mad and forcing him to clean it up. Or he could deny Scout the satisfaction and just deal with cleaning it up himself. … The former would only encourage Scout to possibly do something like this again in the future, thus making the latter the better option even if it was the more annoying and time consuming one too.

First, he tore off all the wrapping paper on everything _not_ tapped to the ceiling. Even just by the end of that he was tempted to smack Scout, but alas he couldn’t. With a long-suffering sigh, he positioned one of the chairs under one of the tapped and wrapped up paintings. He stood on it – this was _so_ undignified, hopefully no one would ever know of this.

The tape holding the painting to the ceiling was surprisingly thin, there was no way it could hold for long. He could easily rip it free which would be much quicker than cutting through it. So gripped both sides of it and yanked it. There was more resistance than he’d expected so he pulled a bit harder. It came free all at once with a loud pop, offsetting his precarious balance and sending him stumbling to the floor. If he hadn’t been standing on the chair, he might’ve caught himself. But as it was, it toppled over with him.

He immediately pushed himself up with a grunt of pain that turned into a groan of annoyance and anger. It had been a trap, multicoloured glitter was now _everywhere_ , all over the carpet, chair, and Spy himself. It would take _hours_ to clean up and even then, this spot would probably never be completely free of glitter ever again unless he removed the carpet entirely. The chair was probably unsalvageable too and there was a good chance his suit was ruined.

He stood and brushed himself off which only succeeded in getting more glitter on the carpet and stuck to his gloves. Shaking them out did little to help “I’m going to _fucking_ kill him.” Forget not giving Scout the satisfaction of a response. He was going to clean this up and pay for it. It was _his_ mess, Spy was _not_ dealing with it.

First though, holding back his seething anger for now, Spy investigated the trap further. It didn’t take long to find out what had happened. There’d been a thin plastic bag filled with glitter and confetti glued to back of the painting and to the ceiling. Pulling on the painting had broken it, making the popping noise and resulting in _this_ mess. It was clever really, Scout had accurately predicted what Spy would do but that only made Spy want to slap him more. Speaking of which…

 

Scout wasn’t hard to find, he almost never was but Spy didn’t even really need to look for him. He was in the common room, playing cards with Sniper.

“I can see you found my trap,” he said, grinning wide as Spy approached.

Sniper look too and grimaced before quickly looking away. Meaning he’d either helped set up Scout’s prank or had at least known about it. Probably the former considering how much work had had to have gone into setting it up. If only Scout put that amount of time and effort into _helpful_ things.

Spy glared down at Scout. His suit was ruined so was his carpet and chair, glitter was one of those things that never went away. Which is why Scout had used it, he was going out of his way to be an ass. And now he was _grinning_ about it. It had been a _long_ time since Spy had last wanted to smack him this badly, he just barely refrained from doing so.

He did flick out his knife though to point at Scout – Scout didn’t even flinch – “You’re cleaning it up.”

“And if I don’t?”

Spy didn’t answer, just kept glaring at him. Any death threat he made would be completely empty, Scout knew that now. So if Scout refused to clean up _his_ mess, Spy would just give in to his urge to smack him upside the head, he’d make sure it’d hurt too.

“Uh… I should go,” Sniper muttered as got to his feet. He slunk off, retreating, and Spy let him. Even if he had helped Scout, Scout was still the one most at fault.

“See you later Snipes,” Scout called after him cheerfully as if he didn’t have a knife pointed at him. He then stood too. “But yeah, yeah, I’ll clean up the mess I made, don’t worry. If I didn’t, you’d make a big stink about it and no one wants to deal with that.” He patted Spy on the arm condescendingly before starting for the hallway leading to their rooms.

Spy turned to followed his progress out. What was _with_ him? It’s like he _wanted_ Spy to be mad at him? _Why_? Spy was _not_ in any mood to figure it out.

 

After changing into a fresh suit, Spy left Scout to clean up the remains of his prank. He gave a it good few hours before returning to check on him, long enough that his rage had shimmered down to be replaced with confusion about Scout’s behaviour.

The last time Scout had gone so far out of his way to specifically annoy Spy had been before he’d known Spy was his dad. And even back then he hadn’t put _that_ much time and effort into it. Ever since it had become an open thing between them all his pranks had been minor and other annoyances mostly unintended. But then suddenly he pulls _this_ out of nowhere, taking several hours of set up time and no doubt spending quite a bit of money for all the supplies. Before this, the most effort he’d put into a prank was stretching saranwrap over all the doors, inconveniencing everyone in base, that had been last year’s April Fool’s joke. So _something_ was up with him.

When he walked into his room once more, Scout was still there, trying to get the glitter out of the carpet with the vacuum cleaner Engie had modified to be super effective. To no one’s surprise though it wasn’t working well, glitter never went away entirely. But he’d gotten all the other bags of glitter down without bursting them – thankfully – placing them on the tea table. And he’d unwrapped everything that had been taped to the ceiling and put it mostly back where it belonged.

Not yet noticed, Spy walked over and unplugged the vacuum cleaner.

“Hey don’t…” Scout began, sounding irritated as he looked up. “Oh, it’s you. You still mad?” Now he just sounded exhausted, he had no one but himself to blame for that.

“No, just wondering about a few things. So sit down, we’re going to have a talk.” Spy sat in one chair and gestured for Scout to sit across from him in the other, the one that had been covered in glitter by Scout’s trap.

Scout hesitated, frowning before doing as he was told. “You’re going to give me some kind of lecture now?”

“No, I’m going to ask why you did this.”

“Because…”

“And before you tell me any lies,” Spy interrupted, “I’ve been making an effort to be honest with you for a while now, I expect the same in return.”

Scout flinched, grimacing. “Well… I don’t why I did it then. I mean, I _do_ , it’s April Fool’s and I wanted to pull a prank. But… I don’t know.” He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Things have been… weird lately. It’s been a long time since you’ve yelled at me or got really annoyed and mad at me. I guess that’s my fault because ever since I found out for sure about you know what, I haven’t been doing… you know, stuff to annoy you a whole lot. In fact, I’ve been doing like the _opposite_ , haven’t I? And like… it feels kind of weird sometimes so I figured I’d take this opportunity to do something to make you _super_ annoyed and mad at me to make up for all that.”

“Well, you’ve certainly succeeded.” Spy didn’t bother trying to keep his disappointment out of his voice. Things had been going so well between them lately, of course Scout would ruin it.

“Good that was the goal.” Scout’s pleasure about that was a bit too forced. “I uh… was super dumb though, huh? Sorry about your carpet and chair and stuff. I probably put a bit more glitter than I needed to in those bags. On the bright side, your room’s a bit less boring now.” That was one way to describe it, not the way Spy would though.

“So, you want to talk about it?” Spy wasn’t good with emotional situations but as Scout’s father wasn’t it his duty to get to the bottom of this somehow?

“Talk about what?”

“About why you think it feels weird we’re getting along.”

“Oh uh… I don’t know.” Scout shrugged. “I don’t really get it myself, it just feels sort of weird sometimes. Not that I don’t like it or anything, I do but… I don’t know. I don’t think there’s really not a whole lot to talk about.” Another shrug. “I won’t do anything like this again though, promise. It was way too much work anyway, especially since I have to clean it up because I technically made the mess.”

Spy let out a sigh of relief, dealing with Scout’s emotional baggage surrounding Spy was not something he liked to deal with. Maybe it was a bit selfish of him to feel so relieved about not having to deal with it right now but who cared? He was selfish sometimes, everyone was, it had kept him alive on numerous occasions.

“As expected, your mother has taught you well,” he said. “But  if you ever do want to talk about it or anything else, I’ll be here.”

Scout gave him a look of genuine surprise that morphed into a smile. “Thanks.” Not that he even needed the offer, he always came to talk to Spy about stuff whenever he wanted to anyway. Now he had an official invitation to do so and oddly, Spy only felt mildly apprehensive about making that offer, hopefully he wouldn’t regret it later.

“I should probably get back to cleaning though,” Scout continued as he stood.

“Don’t bother,” Spy said with a sigh. “You can finish tomorrow.” Or try to, it would never be the same again.

“Ah neato. You’re the best.”

“I know.”

Scout looked at him with a fake frown he couldn’t hold for more than a few seconds. “Anyway, after I put the glitter bags back in my room, you want to play some ball?”

“I suppose.” It’s not like Spy had anything better to do. And well, even if things did get awkward and uncomfortable sometimes – and occasionally annoying – he did like spending time with his son.

“Cool, I’ll meet you outside in like five minutes. And uh… I’ll try to make it up to you somehow. Sorry again.” Scout gathered up the bags of glitter and fled before Spy could respond.

At least they’d sort of made up, Spy would just have to live with the glitter for a while, maybe put a rug over it. Either way though, the glitter chair would now be Scout’s chair, Spy would put it in his room later – making sure to get glitter on as many things as possible while he was at it – and then get himself a new guest chair. That would his payback and Scout wouldn’t be allowed to complain, he almost couldn’t wait for it.


End file.
